You may have read my tirade against Cosmo's fixation on the male "back door," but you may not believe me that they actually talk about it that much.
I think the best part is how little their "back door" enthusiasm is appreciated by the men they survey.
Before I get any excessively personal arguments about the "back door," let me say that my problem isn't with the advice per se (so, please don't make me picture you doing that to your boyfriend's that). My problem is with their bordering-on-unpleasant obsession with man-butt. And with their inability to call it anything but a "back door." Can we call a spade a spade, just once? Cosmo wants you to romance your man's anus.
But(t) maybe--just maybe--I'm misinterpreting. Maybe the reason that they seem so preoccupied is that they're really not talking about butts at all. Maybe they're leaving us hints--like a treasure map? Treasure map..."treasure trail"...that's it! Every man really does have a back door, and Cosmopolitan wants you to find it! If I'm reading these clues correctly, then on a summer day after a full moon, you must knock three times at the back door. A delightful elven man will answer and greet you with a knowing smile. You will say the secret code word: "Manscaping." He will open wide the door, and inside you will find riches beyond your wildest dreams, and delicious cookie sandwiches...
Oh, snap. That's the Keebler elf.
click to go on to Part 3
