I’m terrified of insects, and even I think the people in this movie are wimps. Get a can of Raid and man up, you guys. Audience: if you miss those early ’90s hairstyles, but can’t afford NASCAR tickets, then you’re going to love this movie.
Read More→

Monster Dog is a Puerto Rican-Spanish film from an Italian director, dubbed into English. That makes it international, in the same way that smallpox and race riots are international. How bad is it? Almost the entirety of the budget went to paying Alice Cooper (or “Uncle Alice,” as Sean and I call him), and yet they had another actor dub his lines. Let me reiterate: Alice Cooper delivered his lines in English, and they were later dubbed, into English. That’s confusingly bad, and that is what I like.
Read More→

Terror Toons. Sigh.
About five or six years ago, when I was in high school, I went to Hollywood Video to rent a movie with my BFF Meagan (zombie girls can have BFF’s). We were having trouble deciding when we found Terror Toons, a low-budget horror that was sure to be comedy gold. How low-budget? Well…
Read More→

Netflix’s description of Die You Zombie Bastards!: “Red Toole, a serial killer with a heart of gold and a cape made of human flesh, is on a mission to save his wife, Violet, and the world’s population from wicked Baron Nefarious. While Nefarious hatches an evil plot to turn everyone into zombies, Toole is hot on his trail, killing anything that gets in his way. Monsters and naked zombie girls add to the ambience of this undead superhero free-for-all.”

Read More→