This article on body image and realism was inspired by a country song. And the title was inspired by an ’80s song by Olivia Newton-John. So, I think that means I’m not allowed near the radio anymore.
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Christmas is almost here, and yet for many of us, getting into the spirit has been a challenge this year. It might be because of the economy or political issues, or it might be for a more mundane reason, like how you’re sick of getting lacy underwear from that creepy uncle every year. Are you still hoping that Santa will bring you a non-sucky holiday? Well, I don’t care if you’ve been naughty or nice: I’m going to save your Christmas.
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Do you ever wonder what you will be and where you will go after you die? Wonder no more. Let 1980s comedies, and their prophet, Zombie Kim, lead you to salvation. I will show you the light, my friends! The neon, wears-sunglasses-at-night light.

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This is a Seanotron production. Sean got the idea for this dinner-adventures blog only after the photoshoot, which is pretty darn impressive if you ask me.
And that is a lie. A filthy, whorish, adorable (except when in a bicycle helmet) lie! This story is 100%, no, 293746389746% fact! That’s right, more factual than normal facts!
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Back when I was a teenager, an honor student with an aversion to the F-word, I admit that I loved Cosmopolitan magazine and eagerly awaited each perfumed issue. If Cosmo was to be believed, then I’d one day be a stylish 20-something in a posh apartment, dividing my time between hitting the gym, lunching with the girls, and going out nightly on thrilling and expensive dates. Now I’m in my 20s, and I’m still using the smell test on my tee shirts and watching too much TV. I’m just as helpless as ever, but I am a bit savvier. Yes, I’m disillusioned from my Cosmopolitan dreams, but so be it; that magazine is godawful and I’m just glad I finally figured it out.
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Collected short rants. I promise, there are no jokes about how women like chocolates and shopping, and how men like remote controls and not asking for directions. Darn you, Everybody Loves Raymond! Read More→

One woman’s epic struggle to look cool. It’s not so much epic, I guess, as it is anecdotal. And it’s not to look cool, just–less un-cool.
But it is definitely a struggle.
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CALIFORNIA, Jun. 19 2008–Associated Zombie Press:
In a move that gay-rights advocates are calling “groundbreaking,” the California Supreme Court has overturned a state ban on same-sex marriages. Couples in San Francisco and statewide are celebrating as they make their unions official. Read More→

You sent me your problems, and here I make you regret it! Somehow all of these had to do with sex. And mostly in a really, really creepy way. Huh. What are you trying to say, guys?
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Email forwards are terrible. You’ll start to wish slow, painful deaths on the young lovers in this gem. But don’t worry; you’ll still be a better person than whoever wrote this.
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