Welcome, folks. What you're about to embark upon is the epic tale of two young scoundrels and their quest to make the world's greatest pasta...to enjoy while watching a movie. It involves all the great elements of an epic tale: danger, knives, food, an electric stove that takes awhile to heat up, and a vile vile villain who tries to slay the protagonists with its deadly poison and ruin the freshly-chopped vegetables before they ever reach the frying pan. Just like all epic tales in the history of mankind this one will be told in the traditional and time-honored fashion of the Photo-Blog. Enjoy.
Once upon a time, somewhere in Salinas... The notorious criminal Sauce Thief Sean was escaping from the scene of his latest crime. He had stolen the long cherished Newman's Own Marinara Sauce from its home on display at the Salinas National Museum of Magical Sauces or the SNMOMS (pronounced Sin Moms) for short. The much-envied Newman's Own was under close guard by Laser Robots and a pool of very clever sharks.
Luckily Sauce Thief Sean was able to make it away in one piece. All he needed now was a place to hide while he consumed the magical sauce and maybe watched a movie.
He was fortunate to find what appeared to be an empty apartment with an open kitchen window. Sauce Thief Sean climbed in and prepared to eat his delicious magical sauce when the lights flicked on overhead. He wasn't alone.
Sauce Thief Sean quickly realized that he had broken into the wrong apartment. For the apartment was the domain of none other than The Mad Zucchini Queen!
Although the two greatly distrusted each other, they quickly came to realize that with Sauce Thief Sean's magical Newman's Own Marinara Sauce and Zucchini Queen Brooke's penis-like zucchini, they could create a pasta that would be so great that it would surpass every religious icon in existence. It would be a pasta about which there would be written bestselling novels. This pasta could be a Playboy centerfold, a rock star, the president! This pasta could RULE THE WORLD! It would require a new theory of Quantum Pasta just to explain how pasta could be so amazing. They had to make it.
Zucchini Queen Brooke prepped the stove. The magic stove. The magic electric stove.
Sauce Thief Sean broke out the spices.
Things were going good. The stove was hot, the noodles were cooking, and Zucchini Queen Brooke had just chopped what were undoubtedly some bitchin' chopped vegetables.
But their good luck had just run out. It was Sauce Thief Sean's arch nemesis, Mad Dog Spider! He leaped to the counter and before anyone could stop him, he ruined the yams (or potatoes...we're not really sure).
The Zucchini Queen noticed first. Blindingly fast she drew a knife from the silverware drawer and tossed it to Sauce Thief Sean who stood only feet away from the vile monster known as Mad Dog Spider. Sean caught the knife and engaged the villain, intent to save the veggies or die trying. It was a fierce battle, but in the end, our beloved sauce thief came out on top.
The danger was past and the cooking could commence. The veggies hit the frying pan and hissed like a thousand really annoying hissing geese.
Zucchini Queen Brooke tended the frying pan.
While Sauce Thief Sean seasoned the pasta to perfection.
It was done. There was a new world order. And that order's name was Pasta.
The two scoundrels ate the pasta and everything was pretty cool...
OR WAS IT!??!??!!??!!!?
click on Mad Dog Spider to go back to BRAINS
